You are a bad-ass.
Reflections on bad-assery and peace holding.
What does it mean to be a “bad-ass”?
Being a bad-ass had strong testosterone, superman, violent associations for me for most of my life. At its most general, it meant that I needed to overachieve, push harder, prove to the world how much I could handle, do, fix. But the bad ass goal posts moved just a little further down field. Then across the road. Then into another state.
At that time, I was fighting wars that were not winnable. Heck, they weren’t even not mine to fight, particularly when it came to living with addiction. I didn’t realize that feeling weak, worthless, and like a failure had nothing to do with who I was- it had to do with the fact that I was choosing to fight against an unbeatable foe, engage in relationships where I couldn’t possibly be prioritized, and accept unacceptable behavior from myself and others.
Today my bad-assery can actually be realized because it isn’t dependent on anyone else’s definition but my own.
Today I choose to be a bad-ass CH kitty momma, a bad-ass napper, a bad-ass peace holder.
I choose to engage with those people who leave me feeling clear, steady, or uplifted.
I choose to accept life on its own terms while still being very firm with myself about what I require to live a full rich life.
I choose to watch my fish friends do their fishy things rather than fire up my anxiety by watching the antics of the media.
I choose me.
I choose you.
I choose love.
What do you choose?
Until next time-
You are a bad-ass- loveable in all your bad-assery!
Jenni