Okay. So, this picture showed up last night.
I’ve never seen it before.
It’s from an episode of Walker Texas Ranger that I did back in the late 90’s.
When I saw it I thought—”Day-um grrrrl. You looked freaking good.”
The thing is that I don’t remember looking like that. I remember looking much more awkward and far less smooth skinned. At first, I thought, “well, maybe I just had a skewed inner version of what I looked like. After all, I suffered from body dysmorphia for a long time. Maybe I’m just now seeing myself in a different light.”
But I kept looking at this picture and this morning it hit me- I think an AI engine ate that image up and spit it back out. I don’t think that’s 💯 me. But I can’t be sure because I don’t have any pictures from this WTR episode nor do I have a copy of the episode so I can’t compare this pic to anything
As I age, my memory shifts and evolves. It evolves because of inner work that I’ve done to help me understand myself and others better and because I choose the stories that I tell myself over and over again. Those stories create neural pathways that are as strong as grooves in a vinyl record.
And now, with AI curating and spitting the sometimes flawed or biased data that we plug into it back out at us into new stories that look true, who knows what the truth is.
What I’ve come to realize is that:
The truth is what I make it.
What I decide it is.
That concept used to scare me because anybody can make up their own truth.
But now I see the power in it.
I can use my truth as a grounding mechanism so that I am not as affected by the copious amounts of fear being fed to me by the media and other outlets.
Big fat no thank you. I lived with so much fear for so long that I know how miserable a life that is. How degrading. How exhausting. How hopeless.
No more of that thanks. I choose to protect myself by staying grounded in my own truth so that I can be the person that I want to be and live a life that I love instead of hate.
Now if I could just figure out if that’s actually what I looked like in that pic or not- and where the heck it came from….🤣
If you have access to the episode, please share a screen shot because I would love to make a comparison.
Lotsa love!
Jenni