Welcome back!
Today I’m diving into what happened at a visit with my pelvic floor therapist
so this episode might make you a little uncomfortable.
But I promise that this episode is vulnerable, practical,
weirdly educational, and occasionally very funny.

Cancer Chronicles S5.E9: Trauma, Tight Asses & Pelvic Floor Therapy

This episode was recorded on February 1, six months after my ileostomy closure surgery, and explores what recovery actually looks like after chemotherapy, radiation, surgery, bowel reconstruction, and reconnecting an entire digestive system.

More Specifically:

• what pelvic floor therapy actually is and what happens during an exam

• how LARS surgery scar tissue can affect bowel function

• how surviving trauma — physical, emotional, spiritual, historical — can leave the body in a constant state of bracing

• convincing your body that it’s safe again

• why my anus apparently refuses to relax

• the deeply humbling experience of celebrating a successful poop

If you’re going through cancer recovery, chronic illness, pelvic floor issues, trauma recovery, post-surgical healing, or simply trying to reconnect with your body after a hard season, I hope this helps you feel less alone. If you know someone who could benefit from this podcast, please share it:)

Love ya lots!
Jenni

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Howdy darlin!
We’re still catching up on podcast episodes- this one was recorded back in January.
Things have changed a bit since then, but life is still surreal.
Many thanks to those who have supported the cast,
mrJames who contributed the new Season 5 branding,
and to Linda who heeded the call and sent me a bidet attachment!
Support is still needed and appreciated:)
venmo: @jenni-tooley
zelle/paypal: jennitooley@gmail

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You all rock! Now on with the show…

Cancer Chronicles S5:Ep8
Treatment Aftercare, Spiritual Immunity & Healing Buttholes

After rectal cancer treatment, there are a lot of strange little things that become part of everyday life. Some are scary. Some are annoying. Some are unexpectedly funny. And some involve conversations with medical professionals where you ask for “skincare tips” and they mistakenly think that these tips are for your face.

There’s also a quiet thread running underneath this episode about recovery after active treatment — the strange emotional space where the emergency is technically over, but your body and nervous system are still trying to figure out what happened.

The Breakdown

• sensitive skin and skincare for your butt

• recovery realities nobody talks about like long-term radiation damage, fecal incontinence and IBS

• the unexpected emotional joy of a bidet attachment

• rebuilding an aftercare team

• protecting both my physical and spiritual immune systems

• pulling inward for a while

• allowing myself to simply exist without hiding my scars

If you’re navigating cancer recovery, chronic illness, burnout, nervous system exhaustion, or just trying to feel human again after a hard season… this one’s for you.

Love ya lots.
Jenni

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In this episode, I reflect on survivorship as something embodied rather than conceptual. I share about the unexpected return of physical echoes from treatment, including moments from hospital stays that still live in the nervous system and body memory.

One memory in particular — repeated IV attempts, blown veins, and alarm machines triggered by movement — opens into a larger reflection on how the body holds onto experiences long after they seem “over.”

This is a conversation about what lingers, what resurfaces, and what it means to rebuild trust with a body that has been through a lot.

Season 5: Survivorship is unfolding in real time.

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If you want to support me and this ongoing work, you can do so via Substack membership or direct support (Venmo @jenni-tooley, PayPal/Zelle: jennitooley@gmail.com).

Thank you- you are loved.
Jenni

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Hi darlin!

This episode begins on New Year’s Day 2026, in the middle of ongoing recovery from cancer treatment. Survivorship is not a label. It’s a lived process that begins at diagnosis and keeps unfolding.

The body does not follow calendars. It follows capacity. For me, survivorship is a space that doesn’t end when treatment ends, but continues with digestive issues, fatigue, physical therapy, nervous system regulation, and the daily negotiation with what my body can actually do.

This season, my only real guide is simple: my healing comes first. Too bad it took cancer to remind me of that:)

Until next time- you are loved.
Jenni

This week’s episode starts with church bells ringing outside my car window-
let’s enjoy them for a moment, shall we?

Now on to the meat of it!

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I was invited to participate in the Lavender & Lore event again this year. It got me thinking about the last time I was there—right in the middle of radiation and chemo. I showed up exhausted, overheated, and not very clear about where I even was in my body.

And yet… something really beautiful came out of that day.

In this episode I’m reflecting on:

✨ what it was like showing up to Lavender & Lore last year in the middle of treatment
✨ the unexpected gifts that came from it—including a dog park community that ended up helping me more than I ever expected
✨ what I lost during cancer treatment (and what I’ve let stay lost)
✨ what it means when an opportunity comes around again
✨ preparing for events when your bowels might have other plans (yes, we’re going there again)
✨ and why “my healing comes first” is still the compass I’m following

Sometimes the real abundance doesn’t show up the way we expect. Sometimes it comes sideways—through community, connection, or someone offering to walk your dog.

Love ya lots!
Jenni

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You can support the podcast as well as well as my livelihood by becoming a paid subscriber or making a donation via venmo@jenni-tooley

You are loved. No matter what.

Jenni

Welcome to Episode 2
This episode is about my first surveillance CT scan after cancer treatment wearing a body that doesn’t have a rhythm yet. Two months out from an ileostomy closure and I still don’t know when I’m going to go to the bathroom, what it’s going to be like, or how long I’m going to be in there.

The CT scan required an hour drive while fasting, and an iodine contrast. Let’s just say, my body went bonkers resulting in two Walmart bathroom stops and so much time spent on the toilet that I realized that Walmart has its own radio station.

We also get into:

• the difference between worry, anxiety, and concern

• what it means to listen to your body (or not listen to your body)

• and how healing doesn’t always look the way you think it will

Sometimes survivorship looks like just trying to make it home and being kind to yourself when your body has other plans.

This shit happens.
Like… it literally happens.

Lova ya!
Jenni

YOU ARE LOVED NO MATTER WHAT.

🤗jenni

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Hi darlin! We’re finally back! It took me long enough!
We’re here with Season 5 of the podcast! This podcast has had so many names that I’m not even going to throw one out there for you right now, but I will tell you that this season is about Cancer Survivorship. Because I am now a cancer survivor!

Welcome to Episode 1
In this episode, I talk about what it means to have a complete response to cancer treatment and still be very much in recovery. My bloodwork looks good. My scans look good. The cancer is gone. And yet I am still dealing with bowel issues, fatigue, fear, and the very real question of how exactly I am supposed to function like a normal person when my body clearly did not get that memo.

I also talk about the support drop off that happens after treatment ends. During cancer, there is a team. There are specialists. There are grants. There is support. Then suddenly you are in survivorship, still dealing with the fallout, and a whole lot of people and systems seem to think you should be fine now.

I’m not sharing this to be dramatic. I’m sharing it because people need to understand this part. Just because we are cancer-free does not mean we are back to normal.

Here’s the quick lowdown:

• what a complete response actually means after rectal cancer treatment

• life after chemo, radiation, surgery, ileostomy, and ileostomy reversal

• the reality of bowel dysfunction and urgency in post-treatment recovery

• what happened when I literally could not trust my body in public

• why survivorship after cancer can still be physically and emotionally hard

• the gap between looking well and actually being well

• Social Security disability and the impossible logic of proving you are not fully functional

• why recovery needs a new support team, even after treatment ends

Love you lots,
Jenni

Hey darlin!

My goal was to drop Episode 1 of the new season of Cancer Chronicles today,
but as I was working through the launch post, I realized that the images from the previous seasons really needed to be updated.

I thought it would be fun to ask AI if it would create an image for me.
I think we both got a little carried away.
But in the words of Cyndi Lauper: Girls Just Gotta Have Fun!

Please vote on your favorite if you like.
I don’t promise to use the winner.
But I do promise to use the beautiful image that MrJames is concocting as we speak.

Thanks to all who have supported the production campaign! We haven’t made the goal yet, but the show will go on!

Donations are still being accepted via venmo@jenni-tooley.

And subscribers are always welcome to up their game with monthly, annual, or founding member subscriptions.

Subscribe now

You are amazing!
Until next week-
Jenni

Hello, hello:)

I just wanted to take a moment here —
just a little pocket of quiet time.

I know you’re rushing to get to the next thing,
and yes, I am absolutely impeding your progress.
I’m not going to apologize for that.

Instead, I’m inviting you to just sit here with me.
For a couple of minutes.

No guided relaxation.
No meditation.
We’re not going to do anything.
We’re just going to hang.

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Getting itchy yet?
Yeah… I get that.
It’s hard to sit still sometimes —
especially when the world feels like it’s going crazy
and Apple keeps changing the iOS on my phone.

So many things to figure out.
So many problems to solve.
Mine. Yours. The world’s.

…But maybe I don’t have to.
Maybe you don’t have to either.

What if — just for now —
we didn’t fix a single thing?
What if we just sat here and took three breaths?

(pause for breath)

Wow.
You have no idea how many times I wanted to break that silence.
But I didn’t.

Were you breathing too?
I’m glad I stayed quiet —
because now, I actually feel different.

The mechanics of that are real —
it’s the nervous system,
the stress response,
the breath.

I hear things differently now.
I see things differently.
I’m here.

So —
come back to this anytime you want.
Sit with me. Hang with me.
Maybe even make a habit out of it.

See what happens.
Do a little experiment.

Know that you are loved.
And until we breathe again…

Just be.

Support the Season 5 Production Fund

• Gofundme

• zelle/paypal: jennitooley@gmail.com

• Venmo @jenni-tooley

• Send along a good joke

• Share with a friend

You are loved- always!
Jenni

Lotsa love!
Jenni

Hey darlin!

My town is a Main Street America project town. The committee that guides the initiative always comes up with simple and fun ways to connect. Yesterday I saw one of their flyers on the cork board at the natural foods store. I won’t go fully into its content, but I will tell you this: it had those little cut-out tabs across the bottom that usually contain contact info. You know, the kind you tear off and then lose on the way home?

The tabs on this flyer were a bit out of the ordinary. Instead of contact info, each one contained an encouraging saying. My favorite?

I can rest and still care.

What a simple and profound way to state what I’ve been experiencing.

This morning, I was letting that statement land in my body. It didn’t feel complete. I realized that the reason for that is because it is a passive statement- a permission slip of sorts. Then the truth landed- I don’t need permission to rest and still care.

I rest because I care.

I’m tempted to dive more deeply into the “why” but today I’m leaving it here. You can pick it up and see where it lands for you. Heck! You could even use it as a journal prompt if that fries your bacon!

If you’d like me to go further in depth, let me know and I will.

you are loved!
Jenni

PS: Thanks to Carol, Dalton, Brian, Pam, and Janet we are now $650 away from getting the upcoming season of the podcast out of my phone and onto the airwaves! March 1 is coming fast- donations are welcome via zelle: jennitooley@gmail.com, venmo @jenni-tooley, or gofundme. More info about the new season can be found here:

Subscribe now

Howdy darlin!

Since August, I’ve been talking to my phone about life after cancer and all the trials and tribulations that nobody told me would come with being a cancer survivor.

Help me get those conversations out of my phone and onto the air waves by March 1- just in time for colorectal cancer month!

I’ve raised $250- another $750 and Season 5: Cancer Chronicles: Survivorship is a go!

You can support the effort via

• Gofundme

• zelle/paypal: jennitooley@gmail.com

• Venmo @jenni-tooley

• Sending along a good joke

• Sharing with a friend

You are loved! Can’t wait to share the new season!
Jenni

PS: You can catch up on previous seasons of Cancer Chronicles/Jenni Tooley Presents right here on substack at www.jennitooley.com or on any podcast platform.

Hey darlin!
I’m in the middle of a Creative [r]Evolution.
Sometimes it scares the crap out of me but I’m stepping into it anyway.

The [r]Evolution is happening on w/Jenni Tooley, where I show up as a sovereign woman, creating structures that allow creativity, survivorship, and love to flourish.

My work is subtle medicine for complicated times.
I’m not sure where we are going, but we’re having a great time getting there!

If you are looking for a way in or a new way to participate, here’s how you can step into my Creative [r]Evolution:

• Studio Memberships – monthly or annual support helps keep this work steady and sustainable.

  Subscribe now

• Project Campaigns – right now, our Season 5 podcast campaign is 25% funded. Every contribution moves episodes from my phone to your ears.

• The Joy Jar – for spontaneous support via Venmo (@jenni-tooley), PayPal/Zelle (jennitooley@gmail.com), or Stripe.

Every dollar is a vote for joy, love, and creative medicine. Your support doesn’t just fund work — it funds the expansion of something bigger than all of us.

You are loved no matter what,
Jenni

Thank you to Janet, Brian, and Dalton for getting the ball rolling on
The Podcast Season 5: Survivorship Campaign!
25% to our goal right out of the gate! You are amazing!
Now on with “what a rectal cancer survivor thinks about on the toilet.”

Hey darlin!

When life pivoted my podcast to Cancer Chronicles in 2024, my focus was simple: to speak openly and honestly about something people didn’t want to talk about — cancer. Now that I’m on the other side of cancer, I’ve realized something else we don’t really talk about: what happens after the cancer is gone. Life is supposed to resume as normal, but I’m here to tell you — it doesn’t.

Enter Cancer Chronicles — Season 5. This season explores life after cancer: the realities of survivorship, the recovery of the body and nervous system, and the challenges of post-treatment life.

Eight episodes are already recorded. I’m asking for support to get these episodes out of my phone and onto the airwaves. The funds will help cover production costs and my labor, allowing me to edit, produce, and release Season 5. This support ensures I can continue sharing honest stories about life after cancer and celebrate survivors in our community.

What does support look like?

• Donate to the Production Fund on GoFundMe.

• Or send a little love via venmo @jenni-tooley or zelle: jennitooley@gmail.com

• Take out a paid subscription to this substack.

• Listen to the podcast.

• Share with your people.

If you can, please donate to help bring these episodes to life and celebrate a survivor* by leaving their name in the comments.

Thank you so much to everyone who has supported Cancer Chronicles—let’s keep the goodness coming! Your support means the world to me and to everyone navigating life after cancer.

Can’t wait to share the new season :)
Love ya lots!
Jenni

*In my book, survivorship includes anyone who has been diagnosed with cancer — wherever they are on that journey. Survivorship doesn’t end at death. No one loses a fight.

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